Ivy (ivy68) wrote,

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My latest project

Since I was a teenager I've had a really strong maternal urge, but I guess not so overwhelming that I ever let myself off the good-girl-get-degrees-get-As-get-career-going-get-married-first track, so despite a fairly colorful sex life, and with a good deal of luck, I never got knocked up. C. was the first guy I was ever with who talked about having kids with me as a "when" not an "if," even before we were engaged.

Last summer, on our honeymoon, we sat in a huge tub in our outdoor bathroom in Bali, with lizards climbing on the walls and red hibiscus flowers decorating the eroded stone sculptures, and planned the next part of our lives. Our decision was to start trying to have a baby a year later. It was such a wonderful feeling, to be spending this time with my new husband, with all the "somedays" suddenly in the present. We talked about our jobs, and what we really wanted to do with our lives, and how we would take turns helping each other to achieve those things.

On January 1 I quit caffeine cold turkey, and I signed up for personal training sessions to jumpstart my efforts to get in good shape. I bought a book about prenatal nutrition, started eating more broccoli and taking vitamins, and generally have tried to get myself into healthier habits that hopefully will be second nature by the time I'm with critter.

Last month I went off the Pill. 15 years of contraceptives are coming to an end. Surprisingly, my body chugged back into its natural action quickly. It's odd encountering its old rhythms again, which I haven't experienced much unadulterated since I was a teenager, half of my lifetime ago. It's also pretty cool that hormones and biology prevail.

This morning I started charting my temperature, which is supposed to help pinpoint fertility. I don't know if it will work, or if we'll want to jump into bed just because a graph tells us to, but I do like the feeling that this project is getting started. I also like my nifty lavender digital thermometer that beeps when it's ready.

I have some fear, because I have a high risk of early labor, but right now I'm just excited about getting started.
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